Calling It Like I See It

Disclaimer: The following column is mine and mine alone. The opinions are mine. Don't blame anyone else. I just call 'em like I see 'em and tell it like it is. If you don't like what I have to say, screw you. If you agree with me, and you sure as crap should, so be it.
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Please allow me to introduce myself... I am Miiiisssterrrrrr AAAAArrrrogaaaaannnnnce! AAAAArrrrogaaaaannnnnce! That's what I am called. If you think I am arrogant, I don't give a rat's ass. When Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock, who is the greatest mind in professional wrestling, by the way, asked me to write this column, I made only two requests. First, I asked him not to censor anything I say here. He agreed to that. Second, I asked him not to expect me to write the same garbage as the guy who wrote the column before (I think Jimmy said he was called "Axehandle" or "Axehole" or something like that). Jimmy said he would not have it any other way. So, with the ground rules established, let's get on with the business at hand.
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Everyone is talking about Ric Flair. Ric Flair this, Ric Flair that, Ric Flair Ric Flair Ric Flair! I admit that Flair is prolly the greatest pro wrestler ever to step into the ring. Right up until the day of his final match, he was one of the hottest commodities in pro wrestling. There will never be another Flair... NEVER. But some of you still just don't get it. It's not just Flair retiring. It's not that he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. It's not that WWE gave him a first class send off on RAW Monday night. It is this: Flair's retirement signals the end of an era. The face of wrestling will never be the same again. Ric Flair is a pillar of the wrestling industry, and he has worked his last match (and what a match it was!). History is made. Pro Wrestling will go on... without Ric Flair in the ring. Think about it. Wrestling will never be the same. So STOP crying. The time for tears is past. Look to the future. A new chapter is being written, and thanks to Ric Flair and those stars of his generation, the future is bright.
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I must give all due credit to Shawn Michaels. He did one hell of a job in his Mania match with Flair. That match was everything it should have been.
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The Big Show vs. Mayweather match, however, was a travesty. Is Vince McMahon freaking CRAZY?! Big Show should have squashed that little prick like a roach. Mayweather going over on Big Show did not do wrestling any good, in fact, it hurt pro wrestling. And McMahon/WWE "Creative" doesn't seem to give a shit. Big Show will never have the credibility he once had, and neither will WWE. Vince and his cronies in WWE, apparently oblivious to that fact, continue as if it's no big deal. That is sad, pathetic, and stupid.
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The Bunnymaniac match or whatever it was called was a piece of unadulterated CRAP. It was stupid. It was boring. Did anyone else notice that the crowd was DEAD during the match? I would have rather seen a Women's Title defense. Garbage... Pure garbage.
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OK, enough about Wrestlemania.
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The guy whose column I am replacing, The Axeman (or whatever he was called), is apparently still around. He is still posting stuff on Wrestling News Center. Jimmy, you really should kick him off there before he gets your ass sued. Last week he posted a story about a young wrestler who happens to be handicapped. The kid holds a "World Championship" in some wrestling organization up in Tennessee, and Axeman apparently does not like it. The post was obviously biased against the handicapped. What has that got to do with Axeman? Why does he need to stick his nose into it? If that is what the fans up there want to see, then so be it. There's nothing wrong with it. The Americans With Disabilities Act gives him every right to wrestle if he wants to. Why Axeman wants to create an issue where no issue exists is beyond me. He is apparently getting pretty good at that sort of thing... almost as good as BT, LOL. We don't need any more of Axehole's crap, Jimmy.
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I read on Wrestling Observer that Dusty Rhodes has been moved from WWE Creative down to Florida Championship Wrestling. From where I sit, that's quite a slap in his face. He has been sent from the big league to the minor league farm club. WHY?!! Rhodes is one of the most creative minds in all of wrestling. He is a genius when it comes to ideas and angles. Why send him down to Florida Championship Wrestling to waste his talent down there? It makes no sense, but then it is WWE, isn't it....
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I have been told that WWE is about to create yet another brand, this one called WWE Divas. Well, I don't think WWE will do that. The new would wear off after a while, and then people would quit watching it. WWE should take a lesson from TNA. I think the TNA Knockouts are great, and TNA is doing a great job with the Knockouts. Sit up and take notice, Vinnie Mac.
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I mentioned how great Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock is earlier in this column. What follows is a letter that Jimmy wrote to the Internal Revenue Service and attached to his tax return for 2007. If this don't make Jimmy a genius, I don't know what does. Here is the letter:
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"Dear Internal Revenue Service, Enclosed you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat. I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the Presidential Election Fund, as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" phillips head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" phillips head screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience. It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. Sincerely, Jimmy Blaylock."
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Now that, my friends, is my kind of thinking!
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That's it for this edition. I will be back in a week or two, telling it like it is. If you have anything to say to me about anything I have written (not that I give a royal blue rip what you think), email me at luv2rassle38801@yahoo.com. Maybe I will answer. Maybe I will not.